Reflections 37. Top 5 Tips for Dealing with Dreadful Political Views at Christmas!

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I’m not sure who needs to hear this today, but I bet someone out there does… 

This evening’s post is especially for those of you spending Christmas with loved ones (or a whole group of them) who hold appalling political views which they are very proud, and very vocal about. 

Unfortunately, I have lots of experience in this area – primarily because my politics are more progressive and left-wing than most of my family members, and also because I became a doctor (acceptable) and then gave it up to campaign for the NHS (unacceptable). This, incidentally, inspires a mixture of rampantly sexist comments (from those who presume I’ve done it to put my husband’s career first), and overt suspicion (from those who cannot understand abandoning an established career path for political campaigning). 

In Christmases past, while performing the usual domestic tasks most take on when hosting family, I’ve been referred to by my loved ones as “the doctor’s wife” or even (yes really) “the washer-woman”, and have been given all manner of interesting gifts (highlights include: a potato peeler and a diet book 6 months after giving birth… ). 

Over the years I’ve been told that: 

“Feminism has gone too far” 

“I don’t like Nigel Farage but I DO respect that he sticks to his guns” 

“Of course we need to worry much more about boys’ education than girls” 

“How are we expected to help poor people? By paying MORE TAX?!” (I answered ‘yes’, which didn’t go down well.) 

…and a million other things besides. 

In the past some of these incidents made me feel bad - but not any more! I’ve learned some excellent coping mechanisms, and so here are my Top 5 Tips for Dealing with Dreadful Political Views at Christmas! 

1.     Remember, whatever dreadful views your relatives hold, you are not responsible for them.

You are not dreadful by association. In fact, repeating “I am not dreadful by association” in your head might work a treat if you’re cornered by someone talking about what they’ve read in the Daily Mail. 

2.     Do what works for you.

Some people, when confronted with terrible, callous, bigoted views, want to take the other person to task and hold them to account for all their dreadful ideas. If that’s you, go for it. No one should feel shamed into absorbing a load of absolute bile as they’re eating mince pies. If, on the other hand, these diatribes of nonsense make you want to slink away and escape, that’s also OK. We can hold politicians to account and push for progress in lots of ways; we don’t have to take on a solo crusade to better our relatives over Christmas. Whatever you do; do not feel ashamed (see point 1). 

3.     Distractions are brilliant.

As a Mum of small kids, I frequently use them to escape dreadfulness (“oh! I must just dash and take my little girl to the loo!”). If you don’t have small children, dogs can work well, or even menial tasks that you’ve offered to take on for the host. It’s amazing how often you can disappear to check on things in the kitchen. It’s amazing how often no one checks what you’re doing, as you hide in peace, or go onto Twitter to remember that a world of people who actually care about important things still exists! 

4.     Find someone to vent to.

There will be someone in that room who is an ally; who recognises the dreadfulness too. A dreadful relative shared is a dreadful relative halved.

If you don’t have anyone to vent to, just vent in the comments below this – you will find a lot of kindred spirits here who share in your frustrations!

5.     Remember that this is not your real life.

This might sound a bit dramatic; but sometimes when we are in our childhood homes, or surrounded by elders or people who have made imprints on our younger lives, it can feel like time has gone backwards. We can forget that in 48 hours’ time we can calmly go home to our real lives, where we communicate online with all the brilliant people who care about people, and access to free healthcare, and the planet, and are not obsessed with small boats etc. 

I’m just going to reiterate this; if you want to share anecdotes or need to vent, pop a comment below in the next few days. You are not on your own! I’ll be checking in and replying to anyone who needs a listening ear! 

Finally - HAPPY CHRISTMAS.

You deserve a very happy, relaxing, peaceful Christmas. You are utterly brilliant, and I am so lucky to be connected with you. 

Take care everyone, Ju xxx